Duck Duck Cougar?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
