She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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