as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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