The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
