DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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