Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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