love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
