We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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