obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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