I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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