How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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