I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
