with your own penis?
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
