I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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