its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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