I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
