We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
