Its about making memories worth repressing
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
where are you?
Hypothermia
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
