Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
