And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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