so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
