I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
