whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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