need another drink. this is the easiest way
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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