Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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