we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
