somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
