I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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