It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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