I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize