I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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