just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
