Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize