You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
