There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
