i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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