Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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