i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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