Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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