I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
