Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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