I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
