Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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