The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
