What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
my liver is dry heaving
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
