just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
