Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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