dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
