You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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