Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
