I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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