I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
