The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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