I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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