I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
