they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
