Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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