I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
