Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
