i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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