If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
