i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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